PRIOR To Entering Into a Relationship ~ Everyone has different scenarios and you may already be in a relationship, but it never hurts to examine these things and how it applies to your life!
1) A Relationship with Christ
This is first and foremost! Have your own walk with God and examine if the other individual has the same!
Being a Christian is more than Sunday morning and Wednesday night services. Its a lifestyle of living for the will of God and submitting ourselves to Him.
If you are not strong in your walk with Christ first, it's better to allow yourself time to grow and seek God while you are not caught up in a relationship and unconsciously begin to expect the other individual to fulfill you in ways that only God can.
Also you don't want to be unequally yoked with someone else and be off balance. God desires to be first place and we must aim to allow Him to have this place in our lives and learn to love Him! This is great because you get to know Love Himself first! Get to know Him!
2) Know Yourself & Know Your Purpose
This is critical! Being single is not a curse! Its a blessing! Its a time to enjoy God, enjoy yourself, and enjoy life!
Discover and find out God's will and plans for your life and get in touch with who has made you to be in Christ! Know your worth, know your value, know the direction your life is going and the vision that He has laid before you! Identity is EVERYTHING when it comes to life.
Without knowing who you are, Who's you are, why you're here, and where you are going, you can unintentionally begin to find yourself in someone else by prematurely entering into a relationship.
Not only that, you can't really know what you want and deisre without knowing these other things about yourself and about God while being single. Its better to make these discoveries on your own but nonetheless God has also caused people to recover
And get these things together both in and apart from a relationship or even within a marriage situation. Its best that you seek to find these things out as an individual because its a lot easier than trying to do so in a relationship!
3) Prayer - This is pretty practical but a lot of people SKIP this step because either their emotions or their sexual desires are in the way. It is IMPERATIVE that you DO NOT enter into a relationship with someone without PRAYER.
Ask God LONG before your emotions get deep because it can get difficult to hear clearly once they are! Emotions are awesome
But can be tricky so make sure you give yourself time and wait on God and don't be impulsive or move off of a moment of loneliness, frustration, or become impatient and jump the gun.
Be wise. Relationships and even more so marriage are very serious matters and it is easy for the heart to get involved but hard to pull away from once you're in.
4) Develop a "Date to Marry" Mentality
This will eliminate a lot of foolishness right here for women as well as men. Its not safe to casually date around. Date with purpose. Court with the intention of marriage.
For women, a lot of men will RUN if you start talking about long term commitment and being their husband and thus it will reveal that they are only shortsighted and are most of the time just there for sex... Don't be disappointed.
Be glad! He's not the one! In addition for both men and women, i reiterate that you make sure you are in a place to be able to commit to a marriage before getting yourself involved with someone and then trying to make up for what the other person needs.
Granted, you will not be perfect but there are some basics that should be in place prior to you getting yourself involved in a relationship. In particular, men ought to be leaders, providers, spiritually sound, stable, and in a place to cover his household, and more.
Women are to learn to be submissive to God first, be women of purity, women of prayer, spiritually sound, stable, modest in your appearance (not revealing), and a host of other qualities that should be aimed for in scripture. Proverbs 31 is the most common scripture referred to for women.
A Virtuous Woman! These are just some basics aside from your personal preferences in personality traits and interests. As a women, YOU SHOULD NOT GO AFTER THE MAN. HE IS TO PURSUE YOU!
5) Accountability & Wisdom
Lastly is accountability! Its HUGE! In proverbs it states that in the multitude of counselors there is great safety! Having seasoned individuals around you is a GREAT help to your courtship and dating life.
They can help you avoid pitfalls that otherwise you would have to learn from by blindly walking into them. Don't be prideful. Humble yourself and ask for wisdom from God and from those who are spiritually sound and mature in Christ to help you!
Above all take your time and don't rush. I can GUARANTEE you that if you take these precautions then you will lessen the opportunity for unnecessary heartache, sexual temptation, and ultimately a greater chance of divorce or separation.
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